So i havent written in awhile things have been pretty busy here... but tonite i write because my heart is heavy and hurting for my cousin in law and her husband... today at her normal appointment she found out her lil girl had no heart beat ... Josie would have been born sometime next week but now she is in Jesus's arms ... I am sitting here like everyone does questioning .. asking the whys .. and especially why them? I find myself asking why do Christians that are the ones that give their life wholely to Jesus are the ones that have their faith tested the most. Jason is a preacher... he married me and my husband right after he had just married Brandy. He works with Thrive Church in Ohio planting churches and is the preacher of that church. So why them? Why does God test them the most it seems .. why not test someone who is laking in their path to God? I know i will never have the answers to this but I just hurt so bad for them.
When we had gotten the news earlier that there was something wrong I remember asking God that no matter what the outcome was that we give all Glory to Him... I hope in the days to come we are able to do that and continue to do that.. Even though our hearts are heavy and we had so hoped to live an earthly life with Josie we must press on .. As I told Mama Lou .. we dont need to worry ... Mama Anne is rocking her right now and Woody is singing to her (these are lou's parents) ... I even hope to think my mother is up there loving on her too until the day we and Brandy and Jason are able to finally hold her whole and complete.
I thought of you with love today, but that is nothing new.
I thought about you yesterday and the day before that too.
I think of you in silence. I often say your name.
But all I have are memories and your picture in a frame.
Your memory is my keepsake, with which I'll never part.
God has you in His keeping. I have you in my heart.
I shed tears for what might have been. A million times I've cried.
If love alone could have saved you, you never would have died.
In life I loved you dearly. In death I love you still.
In my heart you hold a place no one can ever fill.
It broke my heart to lose you but you didn't go alone
for part of me went with you, the day God took you home.