Monday, August 1, 2011
My heading says it all... Cancer Sucks... 19 yrs ago my mother went and had her yearly mammogram... everything went well there was nothing going on .. the next morning she woke up with a golf ball size lump in her breast. My mother fought this disease for three years. During those years it went from her breast and lymph nodes to her back then to her liver and in the end it was back in her back, her liver was completely ate up , and she had tumors on her brain. It has been 16 yrs and I still miss her each and every day. My father back in 1998 decided to participate in a cancer research program for prostate exams. If it wasnt for him participating he would not have known he had prostate cancer. It was on the front side an area where it is hard to detect with just doing regular check ups at the dr. He got lucky and they were able to just take out the prostate without having any treatment. In 2008 my dad was very sick, they were saying he had acid reflux but we knew that wasnt the case. We told the dr that it had to be the gall bladder which we were right. As they were still looking into everything they did a scan of his entire body. Not only did they find out his gall bladder was bad along with 3 huge golf ball size gall stones in his bile duct but we found cancer on his kidney. So in july he had the stones and gall bladder removed and the next month he had the cancer cut off of his kidney. Again my dad lucked out since it did not invade the kidney or surrounding areas he didnt have to receive treatment. My father has always been a swimmer since he was 19. Yes my father did smoke for 20 yrs but he has been quit now for 21 yrs ( he is 79 btw). This yr during his checkups to make sure the kidney area still looks good they ordered a scan on his lungs. At first they thought it was pneumonia but of course my dad wasnt sick at all so they did a biospy. ( Just to add they did a lung capacity test at this time too and he blew 103% which I think is awesome for a 79 yr old man who also swims each day). In the end of it we have now found out my dad has non small cell lung cancer. Of course this time surgery cant fix it. He is in stage 2a but it hasnt invaded the lung wall yet which is good news. This thursday he starts chemo and has to have it once a week for three weeks. Im trying to think positive, my dad is nothing like my mom was. He has always been a strong stubborn man that has never complained about any ache or pain, but I am worried what chemo may do. I watched my mom for 3 yrs go thru chemo and radiation. I saw all the side effects. And after 16 yrs I can say I dont think I am ready to see my dad go thru it. One day I hope there is a real cure for cancer, not just the cure of remission till it shows it ugly head again but a cure for where it is gone for good and u never have to worry about it coming back. That is one thing that kinda upsets me with the drs. They tell u oh we can cure you. I heard that so many times with my mom and then we were finally told at the end oh im sry we were just trying to delay it (her death). Why do drs say cure??? There is no cure, it doesnt go away forever not unless ur lucky. Once it is there it is always there regardless if your in remission. I wish drs would be more upfront with patients instead of sugar coating it , they should tell them look we can try to get this to go into remission instead of saying cure. Why lie to the patients, family, and friends? Reason why I am ranting on the cure part is cause when my father told me the results of the biospy he said the dr could cure him. I had to hold myself together .. I wanted to scream out loud asking why the hell would the dr say cure when it is a lie.. This is the third time my father's cancer has come out, yes it may all not be linked together but still after two remissions he is now dealing with cancer again. Both me and my father are holding positive thoughts that the cancer can be contained and killed and maybe if it is God's will he can live to be 100. But this journey was something I was hoping to never have to do with my dad after seeing my mom go thru it for 3 yrs. Now I basically have come to grip with the fact I will get cancer. I mean heck it is all over my dad's family ( colon, ovarian, lymph, lung (now), prostate, etc) .. on my mom's side it has only been my mom and my uncle who had bladder cancer. Yes my drs know everything about the family history reason why this yr when i turn 30 I have to have mammograms each yr with other testing to make sure when it does rear it's ugly head we find it in time. I just hope and pray that if I have to endure this disease like my parents my kids can be spared. I hate the fact that this disease is in my family genes ( i really think we all have the BRCA gene which is something I am looking into getting tested for and my kids). But this is the journey that has been set infront of my family. Not something we want to do but we half to do. I just pray things go good from here on out.