Hmmm

So lets see ... where do I start... well I guess at the beginning is better.. this is my venting since I really dont have much traffic to this blog unless i advertise it on fb so this is a better time then any to post my thoughts of the past week. Well I had to have a CT scan on my pelvic area.. I have been having some pain and other issues so the doctor decided to do this first. The scan turned out showing nothing was wrong so we did an ultrasound the following week to see what else we could see. Still nothing major or serious but no answer to the pain other then possible scar tissue issues from previous hernia operation. Which in all was my thought all along.. especially after having my tubes tied and finding out how bad the scar tissue was and how it had already covered up part of my left fallopian tube. The only problem was that came out of the CT scan was that a small portion of my lung showed up on the scan and it warranted a CT scan on my lungs. Well found that result out tonite. I have a 6mm non calcified (scar tissue)?? This was not the news I was hoping for at all. What a way to go into your last days as 29 and begin your year of 30. Especially with the fact my father is fighting lung cancer at this time. Of course I have no one to blame but myself for the shape my lungs are in. I can breathe perfectly fine , dont cough up anything but I am a smoker. So ya it is my fault for this to come up. I guess I just wasnt prepared for this to happen at the age I am at now. I figured I would be much older when I would start having issues. So... now I have to have a follow up CT in 6 months to check the progress of the spot... but I am gonna take some advice and even the dr stated due to the fact of being a smoker and my dad's problem atm I should go see a lung pulmonologist. So I guess we will see from here. I am trying not to freak out and just think positive. I of course read online about non calcified spots in lungs and it did say these are the ones that can become malignent ( not what i wanted to read) but that it just depends on how it grows ( reason why follow up CTs have to be done). So .. I go from here... fixing to be 30 and I might have to stare cancer in the face for myself .. or in the future from my mistakes .. my stupid choices... I just hope and pray that my children never smoke. Now if any family reads this and i havent talked to you .. pls just call me or msg me on fb instead of bothering my father.. He has enough on his plate then to be answering questions about me. So ask me ... if no one reads this then guess what you will know when i tell you.. Until i see the lung dr i felt that i could just type it here in virtual space to just say it to say it ... i have had so many responses today some i figured and some that made me think wow this is what you think interesting.. but i dunno.. i am just kinda numb atm and just trying to wrap my head around what lies ahead or not.. after this weekend though i am just gonna go with it.. cause there is nothing i can do to change what has happened so now i must go with the flow and see where god takes me. so having said what i wanted to say tonite i will say goodnite